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[心理普及] 如何拒绝别人占用你的时间

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发表于 2008-12-14 01:15:33 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
你是否把时间安排得满满的,甚至不堪重负?如今拥有排满日程的人不止你一个!不妨试试给你的日程表减肥吧,那就是要善于向新的任务说不!无论你是一口答应下来的任务,还是抱着那个“你无所不能”的误导性信念,学着拒绝是你能帮自己和所爱的人的最好办法!因为这一“拒绝”可以降低你的焦虑水平,释放你的压力,并且给你足够的时间来做那些真正重要的事情。-psytopic.com
难度:易
时间:非常短,而且它将为重要的事情腾出时间!
下面是具体做法:
Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: Very Little, And It’ll Free Up Time For What’s Important!
Here’s How:
1. Just say, “I’m sorry; I’m not able to do this right now.” Use a sympathetic, but firm tone. If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit with your schedule, and change the subject. Most reasonable people will accept this as an answer, so if someone keeps pressuring you, they’re being rude, and it’s okay to just repeat, “I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t fit with my schedule,’ and change the subject, or even walk away if you have to.
1-只要说:“不好意思,我现在不能马上做这个。”要用一种同情但又坚定的语气。如果不得不解释原因,可以说这跟你的时间计划不符合,然后就转移话题。大部分通情达理的人都会接受这个答案,所以如果有人继续逼你,他们就失礼了,你完全可以重复那句“我很抱歉,这确实不符合我的时间安排。”然后转移话题,或者必要的话甚至直接走开。
2. If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with very pushy people, it’s okay to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying ‘yes’ to another commitment, do a cost-benefit analysis, and then get back to them with a yes or no. Most importantly, this tactic helps you avoid letting yourself be pressured into overscheduling your life and taking on too much stress.
2-如果觉得态度这么坚决不舒服的话,或者共事的人过分积极,你也可以这么说“让我考虑一下,然后跟你联络。”这给你一个机会重新审查自己的时间安排,还有接受又一项任务的感受,做一个损益分析,然后确定接受或拒绝。最重要的是,这个策略帮你避免生活计划被迫超载和压力过大。
3. If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time (or are having trouble accepting that you don’t), it’s okay to say, “I can’t do this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make. This way you’ll still be partially involved, but it will be on your own terms.
3-如果你真的很喜欢他们请你做的事情,但没有时间(或接受你不能做的事实在有困难),可以这样说:“我不能做这个,但我可以……”,提一个你能办到的略轻的任务。这会让你只保持被部分地卷入,但决定权在你自己。
小窍门:Tips:
1. Be firm (not defensive or overly apologetic) and polite. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.
1-坚定且有礼貌。这传达的信息是你很有同情心但不会被迫而轻易改变你的想法
2. If you decide to tell the person you’ll get back to them, sound very matter-of-fact, and not too promising. If you lead people to believe you’ll likely say ‘yes’ later, they’ll be more disappointed with a later ‘no’.
2-如果你决定告诉一个人你回头再跟他联系,要听起来很像那么一回事儿,但不能带有太多希望。如果你让别人相信你可能等下会接受,那么之后的拒绝比直接拒绝更使他们难受。
3. If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.
3-如果别人要你解释,请牢记:你真的不欠任何人。“这不符合我的时间安排”就足以让人接受了。
4. Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on, limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than the things you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule!
4-记住,一天只有那么几个小时。这意味着无论你选择承担什么,都要限制你办<敏感詞>事情的能力。所以,即使你可以一定程度上把新的任务塞进日程表,如果它没有比你必须放弃才能做的事情重要(包括休息和照顾自己),那么你并没有真正把握计划内的时间!
From Elizabeth Scott
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